She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
