I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
