all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
