She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
