I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
