Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
