I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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