Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
