just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You were trust falling into bushes
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize