I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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