I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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