i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.