My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
