Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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