is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
