i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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