I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
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Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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