just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
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I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
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this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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