They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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