By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
