Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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