He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
