thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
