Fuck appropriateness.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
