Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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