You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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