he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
