Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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