So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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