I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
