Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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