Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
