Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
A+ Viking dick
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
