i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
