ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
