I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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