I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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