Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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