On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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