i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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