he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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