mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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