ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
