1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
