yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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