Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
