Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
