haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
