she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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