he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
