Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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