suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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