peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
