the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
