My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
