My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
