I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize