Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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