Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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