I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
