I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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