i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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