in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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