Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
