So drunk its hurt
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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